Dad I feel really ashamed to admit it but I have been so selfish but at the end of the day dad I just don't wanna live this life my Dreams will never quite be filled without you here! I have failed everything you wanted for me gone against everything you taught me and everything that made you proud! I'm yearning to make you proud again but it hardly seems worth it when I won't be able to see your caring heart through the tears that never failed to tell me how much you loved me! I took you for granted and I hate that it took you leaving me too finally begin 3 years later to start apreciating mum. I'm angry dad you won't be here so much has changed in three years I am a completly different person! But mostly I am angry at myself for taking my anger out on so many others blaming them and putting my guilt onto them.

Why dad? Everyday I fool people into thinking I am happy forever laughing and joking I don't want anyone to know that really its taking everything I have not to give in and scream from the top of my lungs. I assume you know the stupid things I have done especially recently but it's like I know its stupid but It don't seem to matter. I thought I was finally begining to get better and its all crumbled again.

Daddy give me a sign, I wanna be with you!

1 thing I promised to myself for you is too have a job by the time I left school and I have dad its tough and a harsh shake into reality, but I hope you would be proud of this.

Please help mum, you were right about so many things dad I could've done with that when I was with him. How did you manage it you were such an angel on earth, now in heaven I can't stand it.

I love you daddy!

Always you girl!

Kez xXxXx

Alright dad, been a long time since i been on the site.

I never really know what to say ya know, there is so much i want to say but i feel to week to let it out. Everyone around me tells me its all going to be alright, it gets easier as time goes on. They keep lieing coz it keeps getting worse. Every year i cry myself to sleep wondering what would of happened if your were still here, n every year i spend everyday wishing i was all grown up and older, but it gets to this time every year and all i wish is to be young again, back to when you were here. I just want to hear you call me your babygirl again or your 'lil' princess anything to keep me going. I feel like iv let you down dad, feel like im nothing like you dreamt of, like if you were here you'd be so disapointed in me. I know iv let mum down i can see it, i just hope she can forgive me and you 2. I dont think you can ever understand how we all feel dad, its like we lost our world like our light just went out with no explanation. Ill always remeber you dad, your smile, your BIG blue eyes, the way you made me smile when i just wanted to cry. I feel so selfish, coz i feel like iv lost my world but i need to wake up every one around me is hurting to but i just think about me nd how im feeling. It isnt right you didnt bring me up to be this way, and for this im sorry 3 years dad .. 3 long hard years without u here telling me its alryt, now im old anough to realise when you was telling me it was alryt u was just trying to protect me from the truth, n now im busy telling everyone else its gona be alryt like you did but i know it isnt going to be. I want you to tell me how i can make you proud but i cant here your cries dad, its too hard knowing your gone forever, there was so many questions, now i will never know the answers i just wonder. Id do anything dad to have you back in my life, but no matter how many times i say it, nothings going to change. Please dad keep lookin down on me .. Ill make you proud one day and when i do ill be the happiest 'lil' princess ever known. I love you dad forever in my heart always in my mind.. God Bless Sleep Tight From Your Babygirl Loz x

IN OUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS THIS SPRING AND ALL THE SPRINGS TO COME~GOD BLESS YOUR HEARTS, AND GIVE YOU COMFORT, AND STRENGTH~~~

xxxx